I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
