I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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