Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize