kristin has been a bad kristin
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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