I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
