he thought i was a dude.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize