i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
