i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
