I'm really into asian looking animals
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
