you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
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I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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