my mouth tastes like poor choices
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
