Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
