Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize