I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
