Who wears a wallet chain?!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
