I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize