Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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