i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Bring me that man meat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.