We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is wine microwaveable?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!