Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.