i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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