Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
