carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
