he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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