That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
