You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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