i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
