id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
