I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He shit in the fireplace
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
