OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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