my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
