Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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