Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
