i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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