Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
