i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
