I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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