I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
