Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
