I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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