Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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