I heard we made out
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
