I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize