Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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