i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Church boner. Awkwardddd
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
