His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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