yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Still dying that you shit outside
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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