This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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