Your dad touched me again.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
