I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
