What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
