wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
