i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
