There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can you bring me the toilet please
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
