she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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