You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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