I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
