You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and she was petting her beer can
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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