I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
