i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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