I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
