I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize