i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
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I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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