I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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