Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
