How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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