Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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