Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
