People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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