We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
