If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
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Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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