No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
